


Dental Ass.

by Dominura



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, and gross humor, frequent use of the word shit, gay dentist au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 03:51:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2758544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dominura/pseuds/Dominura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is a cocky dental assistant and Eren eats too many sweets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dental Ass.

**Author's Note:**

> Read on tumblr!!! http://high-functioning-weeaboo.tumblr.com/post/104985565346/dental-ass-ereri

Eren hated the dentist with every fiber of his being. Sitting in that uncomfortable dirty, fake leather reclining chair, having a stranger dig in his mouth with both their hands, hearing the chilling sound of the drill chewing into his paralyzed mouth, just the thought of it all made his skin crawl. He shivered violently.  


His mother tugged on his ear and chimed, she had been in an unusually good mood all morning, “if you keep looking so glum, your face is going to stay that way.” Eren groaned before shoving a spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth, “like I care.”

He was incredibly determined to find some way out of his appointment this afternoon. The cogs in his brain started rolling rapidly. Perhaps he could trip and break something a finger maybe, no, then he would have to go to the hospital which is worse than the dentist. He could sneak out, but Mikasa would be able to track his scent like a blood hound or whatever, she is scary like that. His eyes wondered around the kitchen as Mikasa was pouring milk into her protein shake. That was it! His lactose intolerance, he would drink the entire carton, that would do the trick. That is when she shook out the last drop with a, “looks like I’m going grocery shopping on my way back from the gym, you need anything?” Eren frowned.

“Could you get some apples, oh and some egg too, I’m going to make pie tonight,” Carla beamed as she dried her hands on her apron, “it’s your fathers favourite.”

Mikasa’s eyes momentarily met nervously with Erens, “sure thing,” she replied looking back and smiling with only her mouth.  


“Wash up your dishes, Eren,” Carla ordered as she disappeared with a leap into the neighbouring room, “and go brush your teeth before we leave.”  
Eren obeyed reluctantly, shouting over the running sink water, “why do I have to brush my teeth before going to the dentist? That makes no sense.”  
“You wouldn’t go to the hair salon with dirty hair,” Carla called from the other room.

“Yes I would, they’re going to wash it anyway.”  


She shouted with the wrath of the gods from the other end of the apartment in a way that made Eren jump, “be a normal person for once and go brush your goddamn teeth, you shitty over grown-.” Eren wanted to turn around and say “you’re one to talk” but he knew that was way over the line, she is beyond scary when she gets angry.

Eren sulked to the bath room, sulked down the elevator, sulked to the bus stop, sulked on the bus until eventually he found himself sulking in the waiting room next to his mother who was happily reading a parenting magazine.

“Eren Jaeger?” The receptionist called, the mother and son stood up simultaneously. Eren felt a tug on his sleeve, “You want me to come in with you?”  
“I’m an adult, I’m fine,” Eren groaned, even though he could feel the sweat forming on his skin, “That’s me,” he stated with a hand gesture to the smiling receptionist.  


“Let me grab your file,” The cute blond girl behind the desk smiled gently as she began to scan the wall of patient files. It seemed to take years, but when she caught her eyes caught it she let out a silent “found you”. Unfortunately, her small stature forced her to strain her reach with clawing fingers, but thankfully a taller freckled woman came out of the back room with a stool. The two of them exchanged polite looks as the smaller one on the stool easily reached for the folder. The taller one kept a close eye on her as she did so, perhaps a little too close.

“Right this way, Mr. Jaeger,” She sang with the file in check, Eren followed her down the winding labyrinth like network of tacky pale pink and blue halls to and doors to a small room, “Sorry it’s kind of confusing, with the reno going on even I get lost in here, “ She chuckled warmly, “just ask Mr. Levi if he can lead you back,” She knocked on the door before opening it.

A dark haired man was hunched over the patient’s chair and scrubbing roughly it with wet paper towel, the receptionist had waited patiently for a second before roughly clearing her throat and passing him the file folder and with that she left.

“Sorry, about that,” the man came to his feet and stuck out a pale hand but strong looking hand, “I’m Levi and I’ll be cleaning you up today,” his voice was low, business like, gritty, and a little pissed off in tone, he seemed very different from the other cheerful staff Eren had been accustom to. And he was short, like really short. And his eyes, Eren had never seen eyes with such a deep and captivating hue. It was almost like looking into swirling molten steel if steel didn’t turn red when heated. Eren timidly shook the hand which was cold to the touch, “I’m Eren, nice to meet you.”

“Take a seat,” the man nodded before turning to the sink. Eren sat down apprehensively as Levi washed his hands and arms to the elbow in the deep sink. Eren fidgeted with the hem of his sweater, “Did someone bleed or throw up all over the chair or something?”

“No, why?” the man responded with slight confusion, Eren immediately felt like an idiot, “its just you were cleaning it like someone had.”  
“Well, actually to be honest,” he shut off the water and began looking over the file, “the guy I was just working on took a massive watery shit all over the chair, I guess it was food poising or dysentery, soaked though his pants and everything, looked like he’d been wading in the Ganges. To be even more honest, we really should replace the entire unit, it’s not sanitary.”

Eren swallowed hard and felt nauseous at the thought, “gross,” he immediately ripped his hands off the arm rests to place them awkwardly on his lap. The dark haired mans eyes met with Erens who’s were wide with fear. The patients face was twisted up as if he was on the verge of throwing up, he instantly regretted making the comment, “Shit, shit, sorry, kid,” He slapped Eren firmly on the shoulder, while trying to say as sincerely as possible “I’m just bugging you, really, cross my heart. I’m just a really cleanly person is all.”

“Holy shit, man,” Eren laughed nervously expelling the breath he had been holding in, “you’re so serious, you really had me there.”  
Levi felt momentarily proud of himself, “Now that I almost make you blow chunks, let’s get down to business, shall we?” in his stern business tone he continued, “Have you been having any problems or sensitivities lately?”

Eren thought about it, all though he would be lying if he didn’t think about what he was going to say the entire trip here, preparing what he was going to say and rehearsing in his mind, “A bit, when I drink cold stuff I get pain near the back, uh, left side.”

“Oh, okay,” Levi’s voice trailed off as he looked at the x-rays in the folder, they were almost 7 years old, hardly recent enough to come up with a conclusion, “I’ll take a look at that, also would you be alright if we took another set of x-rays? The ones on file are as old as dicks.” The casualness in the man’s voice was off-putting but in a way that was oddly friendly.

“Yeah, that’s no problem.”

The chair lowered as low as it would go, as the man snapped his purple gloves on, “I hope you’re not a vampire,” he said informally, he pulled the surgeons light and shone the light directly in Erens eyes, his pupils shrunk to tiny dots surrounded in a sea of golden green in the light. Levi looked into his eyes curiously as they struggled to adjust to the light, he had never seen eyes that were so gold and vivid in colour. They seemed almost other worldly in nature.  
“Open up nice and wide for me,” Levi requested dryly, “I’m just going to take a look before I start scaling, okay?”

“Oh-ey,” Eren responded with his mouth gently forced open, without reason Eren burst out with boyish laughter. Levi was stunned, thinking he might lose a finger, he pulled his hands away quickly and raised and eye brow at his cackling patient.

“Oh my god,” Eren uttered between giggles, “your mask,” he swiped the tears from his eyes, “it’s so, so,” he desperately searched for an appropriate word, “unfitting.” He was referring to the surgeons’ mask Levi was wearing, pale yellow with a wide toothy cartoony smile printed boldly on the front. The smile contrasted hard with his dark expressionless eyes in a way that could only be described a terrifyingly hilarious. Levi made a face and made Eren laugh more.

“Simmer down there, sunshine, its company policy we were these god forsaken things,” he nudges Erens mouth open and sticks his instruments in, “trust me,” His eyes focus carefully on the tiny mirror in Erens mouth, as most of his attention is on Erens mouth his words were slower paced and dragged out, “I caught myself in the mirror wearing this once and, let me tell you, I almost pissed and shat myself at the same time.”

Eren strangled the laughter bubbling up in his chest, “You know,” Levi continued as he scraped at Erens teeth with the scaling tool, “I have to give you credit though, you’re the first person to straight up laugh in my face.”

“Aoh ,illy?“ Eren uttered.  
“Pretty ballsey to laugh in the face of an man with both his hands in your mouth, every other patient pretends not to notice or lies paralyzed with fear, its quiet entertaining really,” the little hose shot a cool spray of water at Erens gums before the saliva sucking hose promoted him to momentarily close his mouth. Eren would be lying if he didn’t want a spit sucking hose thingy at home. Just think of the possibilities.

“Well,” Levi pulled his hands out of Erens mouth and sat back in his chair with his arms folded, “I got some bad news and I got some more bad news for you, sunshine, what would you like to hear first?”

Eren sat up slightly, propping himself on his elbows, “the less bad news, I guess.”  
Levi pulled the mask down over his chin, exposing his pale lips, “You got two cavities, they’re small, we can probably fill em up today, but for the even worse news that pain in the back of your mouth is one of your wisdom teeth pushing up, I can’t tell without an x-ray, but it looks like it’s coming in at a real shitty angle.”  
Eren lay back stiffly, “nothing I didn’t expect I guess.”

“With the cavities you need to go easy on the sweets and brush twice a day, otherwise you’ll get just more,” Levi instructed.  
Eren picked at his fingernails nervously, which grossed out Levi a tad, “my mom makes cakes, pies, cupcakes for my dad just about every night, she gets pretty peeved if we leave left overs.”

“Open up,” Levi got back to work, “Sounds like your dad should pay us a visit.”

“Ee akarencley noved to Arica ten yearss aho hor werk, ” Eren mumbled almost completely incoherently, but with all the years Levi had been doing this job, he could understand every word.

“Sounds complicated,” Levi let out in a sigh. He could understand even though he himself never had the luxury of having family problems. He drifted from foster home, from the streets, and back to foster home all his childhood. Family was strange concept you saw play out on TV and in department stores aisles, not something you actual had, “I can’t give you any real advice, but parents are just kids grown up. Sometimes they do strange things to cope with problems, even if they don’t made sense.“ Eren watched Levis eyes relax a touch, he could tell that he was half talking about Erens situation and half about himself.

For whatever reason Eren at this moment felt at ease, the sweat that was dripping down his back and the tremors in his hands ceased without his knowledge. That’s when he became aware of the thick thread of drool hanging out the side of his mouth, he sucked it in quickly.

“Gross,” Levi muttered sending the blood rushing to Erens face, “take this.” Levi urged Eren to take the saliva ejector, Eren uncomfortably whispered thanks while sucking the pool of spit a little debris that was building in his mouth. Eren smooshed his blushing face up, and questioned frankly, “why are you a dentist if you don’t like drool?”

Levi took the saliva ejector out of Erens hand and put it back in its proper place, “Well, number one, I’m not a dentist, I’m a dental assistant,” He points to his name tag, ‘Levi Dental Ass’, Eren giggles a bit, “and number two I put up with it it’s because it pays decent money and-” He pinched Erens glowing cheek hard, earning a yelp and a giggle, “I get to hurt people while doing it.” Levi instantly pulls back, realizing how horribly out of character that was. He cleared his throat.  
“You’re a jerk,” Eren tried to look serious and grumpy as Levi while nursing his cheek, but his face wouldn’t allow it and warped into a stupid grin, “You don’t seem like the type to get into dentistry, how did that even happen?”

Levi dug blindly in one of the drawers in search of floss, “I had enough cash saved for school, I just wanted to get out of doing what I was doing.” He shrugged, he didn’t know why he was talking to this person. But the words just kept coming out, “and I thought ‘this will do’. I don’t care as long as it pays, now open up.” This idea of someone just choosing something completely out of the blue seemed so mystifying to Eren. Eren, who had let two scholarships go to waste because he didn’t know what he wanted to take and only took a course at the last moment because his mother told him he should, and evidently, it was something he was not interested in and he dropped it a month in.

“Chhats iinhain, huat id you gu efor?” Eren asked incomprehensibly as the thick floss buried its self between his gums and pulled out painfully, the lingering metallic taste of blood filled his senses, he flinched.

“Stupid shit,” Levi forced the floss particularly hard between Erens back teeth, “hustling, you know gambling, scratching,” He shook his head back and forth at the thought of his former self, “stupid shit.” Eren smiled slightly, with man’s hands no longer in his mouth, he spoke clearly, “It’s good though,” he focused his gaze at his feet. Levi peered at him out of the corner of his eye curiously, “That you’re not doing that stuff anymore,” Eren continued quietly before lighting up his tone to think out loud, “scratching… that’s like tattooing right? Were you any good?”

“I thought so at one time, but now that I look back, nah,” Levi shrugged, “in the tattooing hierarchy scratchers are the lowest of the low.” Eren was quiet for a moment before grinning, “everyone’s got start somewhere, right?” It was a normal polite thing to say, anyone would have said it, but even so a smiled tugged as Levi’s face from behind his mask, “I suppose so,” Perhaps it was because it had been a long day or perhaps it was because Levi couldn’t remember the last time he talked to anyone like this, it seemed so natural and normal. He wanted to smile and talk more to this person, and make them laugh. Their eyes locked momentarily, cold iron ores fused with clear golden green sunshine. For a second Levi thought he could absorb that pure light but he cleared his throat and darted his eyes in the other direction, “This is taking too long.” A pang of rejection shot though Erens body.

His heart was beating out of his chest, fuck you, Levi shouted from within his head. He was half shouting at himself and half shouting at himself, and half at those eyes, “Come,” He stood up, removing his mask, “let’s get you x-rayed so the dentist can look at you properly.” Before Eren could say anything Levi had gripped tightly onto his wrist with his gloved hand and pulled him down the hall for x rays.

He was silent as he sat Eren down in the chair and shoved the foam between Erens teeth and roughly straightened Erens head with his fingertips. Eren wanted to say something, but was unable to do so. Levi re-positioned the foam and ducked behind the protection wall before coming out to do it twice more before letting out an exasperated sigh, “You and I both are going to die of radiation sickness if you don’t stop fidgeting.”

“o-orry,” Eren squeaked, he wasn’t aware that he was fidgeting, but he had the sinking feeling that he had said something wrong that made Levi hate him. Levi could tell that his own childish behavior was putting Eren off, “Listen,” he folded his arms tightly across his chest, “sit nice and still for me and I’ll give you one of the super bouncy balls and something else if we have time, okay?”  
Eren furrowed his brow, “ahut?”

“The balls are great,” Levi ducked behind the wall again and took another shot before returning to move the foam and the x ray machine, “they bounce so high so easily that they have to keep them behind the front desk now and give them to kids when they go because at least 5 times they accidently broke the ceiling lights with them. I’m guilty of doing the same thing at my own place, they are great you’ll love them, I promise.”

Eren giggled at the thought, yet again screwing up the image. Levi didn’t say anything this time but instead he emerged from behind the wall and softly brushed one of Erens hairs that had fallen across his face to the side, the relax expression on Levi’s face reassured Eren that he wasn’t mad after all. The dental assistant’s finger tips gently straightened Eren heads position, “stay right there,” he whispered lowly in a way that gave Eren the chills. The machine clicked and they were done.

  
Levi sat at the computer and looked briefly over Erens x rays, “I’m going to call doctor Zoe so she can come take a look at you, alright?” Eren nodded as Levi lazily brought the phone to his ear, it rang idly for a moment until he hung up and called the front desk. Perhaps she wasn’t in her office, “Is shitty glasses there?” “What?” He groans, “When will she be done?” “Well that’s just great,” he says sarcastically, “tell her to see me once that’s all over.” He hangs up the phone, Eren is completely lost. Levi discards his gloves and spins around continuously in his chair, he is visibly annoyed.

He throws his head back and keeps spinning, “looks like you got some time to kill until the doc gets back, you can wait out in the waiting room or go back to my room if you like.” Eren really doesn’t want to go sit with his mom for an undetermined amount of time, “I’ll wait with you, better than sitting with my mom.”  
“Alright,” They trek back to Levis room where Eren sits un-comfortably on the patient chair, Levi is sitting fiddling with a pen, “don’t know how long she will be, she’s doing an emergency or some shit surgery.”

Eren shrugs, “Can’t be helped, I guess.”

“I guess,” Levi has his head tilted back as he spins in slow circles I the office chair, he’s not sure what to say to Eren. He has to say something right? Otherwise it will get awkward, two people sharing such a small space and all. He could ask him about school, his family, work maybe, but he only ends up thinking too hard about it. But he has to say something. He knows he’s going to go off the chain and probably say something offensive again.  
“Say-“ Levi starts and stops.

“You’re-” Eren speaks at the same time, “sorry, go ahead.”

Levi gestures for Eren to speak, he’s somewhat thankful that Eren interrupted him, “go ahead.”

It comes out awkwardly at first, but it comes together by the end, “I think that you’re the chillest dental assistant I have ever met, and I’ve met a lot.”  
Levi stops spinning, “oh yeah?” he doesn’t realize it but he’s chewing on the pens lid, “you’re not a complete ball of shit either, Eren.” The way that Levi says Erens name, Eren, Eren, Eren, it sounds a cat purring. He realized right then and there that he wanted to be closer to this person, this grumpy looking, sarcastic, and childish person. Out of all the people in the whole world, Eren smiles.

“Here,” Levi reaches up into one of cabinets and tosses Eren a golf ball sized rubber ball, Eren fumbles to catch it “Lets go get some fresh air.” Levi leads Eren back into the hall way and though a small door that leads to a narrow winding staircase, “its 9 floors to the top, you think you can make it?”  
“Of course, “ Eren puffs out his chest. By the time they reach the last door Eren is making a poor effort to conceal his lack of breath, whereas Levi looked like he just came out of bed. Levi fumbles with his key ring in the darkness, he lets out a low ‘a ha’ when they correct key clicks in the doors knob. Eren shields his eyes from the warm blast of air and sunlight coming from the doors opening. When his eyes adjust he walks over to Levi whos standing dangerously close to the edge, admiring the city’s skyline.

Eren approaches him slowly, holding the small ball with both hands. With out thinking he tries to bounce the ball on the cement roof, now it wasn’t a hard bounce, but because of the un godly power of the super bounce ball it flew high into the sky. The two of them looked quickly up into the direction of the sky and braced themselves to catch it, the sun light was blinding and the ball hit the ground sending it even higher into the sky, that ball could bring down a plane, “now you’ve don’t it,” Levi laughs and he spots the ball and reaches out beyond the buildings edge but it slips past his hand, he signs and they two of them look cautiously over the edge before beginning to walk away, “its not like that’s the only ball I have anyw-“ The sound of glass shattering, followed by a car alarm, followed by a women with a hoarse voice screaming at the top of her lungs.

“GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING PIECES OF TOXIC RUBBER SHIT, I WILL FUCKING BURN YOU, YOU UNDERSTAND,” its doctor Zoe, at nearly 14 stories down everything she screams is crystal clear, “WHO EVER DID THIS COME FORWARD NOW AND I PROBABLY WONT RIP YOUR TEETH AND FINGER NAILS OUT ONE BY ONE. JESUS SHIT MOTHER FUCKER DICKS FUCK.”

Levi instantly pulls Eren by his hoodie to the ground, Eren is too scared to move, Levi’s pale face is filling in with red, his laugh started low and restrained but he can’t hold it back anymore and releases the hysterical cackling hyena like laughter from deep within his chest. Eren is paralyzed, all he can do I watch Levi morph into another person, and oh god, is he beautiful, Eren thinks to himself. Eren can feel the blood rushing to his face, Levis smile and laugh was horribly contagious and soon he joins in the laughter. They cant hold back, they trash and punch and kick at the ground and each other until their vision is obscured with tears and their stomachs cramp.

“I cannot fucking handle you,” Levi wipes the tear from his eyes trying to keep his laughter under control, “sweet fucking Jesus.”  
Eren grips at his stomach, the smile refuses to fall from his face, “I think I broke something.” Eren closes his eyes and falls back on the ground, his chest rising a falling with the last bit of laughter his body will allow him. He feels a light brush on his face, Levis lips make gentle contact with Erens forehead. Erens face flushes red and his eyes blink open, “what was that for?”

“For making me laugh,” Levi kisses him again on the cheek, “that’s quite the feat you know,” he plants a kiss on Eren idle mouth, his warm breath hits Erens face when he speaks lowly, “you earned it.” Eren didn’t think his face could burn any hotter, “I wanted you to do that all day.”  
Levis grey eyes narrow into a soft smile, “me too,” he stands up and offers a warm hand to Eren, “Let’s go pull your teeth out.”  


“Sure thing,” Eren kicks Levi as they walk, “Dental ass.”


End file.
